Miscellaneous

Hello again,

I'm sorry I didn't keep up with my idea to put a post on every Thursday as well as Tuesday, but I'm kinda tied for time on Thursdays, so here's one on Monday.

How are things?

Well, I'm extremely busy with lessons, and have a horrible bump at the back of my head, that I can't complain about because it's entirely my fault(!)

You see, on Saturday, I was playing Doctors and Nurses game with some little children (and I used to HATE that game when I was little), and one of the things, I, as the patient, had to do was act ill. (believably, of course)

So, I kept collapsing onto the bed in either the room where the Doctor was, or the in the 'chemists'.

It all went perfectly well in the Dr's room, but when I collapsed in the 'chemist's' room, I smashed the back of my head.

Well? What could I do? I was already lying there going "Ouch, don't! DON'T TOUCH ME!!!! AHHHH! Ouch, me head hurts"

I could hardly have stood up and gone. "Er, do you mind? My head REALLY hurts now!?"

I just carried on, heroically smiling as they tried to bandage up my head (why couldn't I have said I had armache?)

Next time I'm going to have a good look before I go flying down backwards on a bed, pretending to be ill, and I'm sure that there are worse things in life than what I'm complaining about.

Of course, as for many other things in life, when I announced that I was now fine, and wasn't going to 'be ill' for the sixth time, all of the little girls scarpered, leaving just three of us to pick up six thousand tissues, forty little bits of sticky tape (yep, I'm sure they REALLY enjoyed taping my mouth up so I couldn't speak) - a billion bits of cotton wool, and five hundred bandages.

Er, yes, I'm sure you're aware that was a shameful exaggeration, and whatever I'm saying, the game was quite fun actually :-)

Let's move on...

Don't you just love the saying 'Y'Alright'?

You can say it to anyone: an old lady who thinks you're being concerned about the fall she took three years ago.

A kid, who thinks that you're wondering if they need any more ice-cream.

Someone your own age, who, correctly, takes it as a greeting.

A business collegue, who thinks that you are thinking 'Did she have a good journey'.

A self-defence teacher, who thinks that you're wondering if he's been in any fights recently, and finally, your close family, who are so used to it, that they just ignore it.

Yes, a VERY useful couple of words, I must admit.

However. I just was thinking. Supposing it was a very independant old lady, and she doesn't like people asking her if she is alright. Or if you are speaking to a kid who's seriously ill, and his/her mother takes offence, or your business collegue has just been released from a mental asylum and goes into fits of worries over whether you know about it... and so on.

Maybe you should just stick to Hello. You can't go wrong much there, can you?

Moving on again.

Don't you just hate the fact that we English are stereotyped as people with bowler hats, who trot around, Scarlet Pimpernel type walking sticks in our hands, calling all our friends Old boy, or Old girl, with a horrible, horrible accent and very strange words. Such as "Jolly good show!" or "Cherrio Old Fellow"

If you were to ask me, the proper stereotype English person, is:

Under 18, someone with a tracksuit, airmax clumpy trainers, a face far more brown than is natural (I mean fake tan or layers of foundation; not non-white genes, don't get me wrong, puhlease) and a very cool phone blasting Kanye West in the ears of people who don't want to listen.

Over 18, they have suits, a glazed look on their face, are reading Tom Grisham, and listening to something from the sixties in their ipods. [Should I add - and travelling to work, all at the same time]

Over sixty, they are comparing bus passes, and shaking their heads over the state of children these days, and nattering on about what hairdresser to use.

I've never, ever, heard anyone in public, in England say "Jolly Good Show" have you?

On Buses, there is almost the 'war of music'

Under 18 turns his music up loud, to outdo Other Under 18 who is blasting 'not his style'

Over 18 turns her ipod up and determinedly stares out the window.

Other Over 18 turns his ipod up even louder and even more determinedly stares out the window.

Over sixty takes her hearing aid out.

Other over sixty takes his hearing aid out and takes off his glasses.

Turnbull puts hands over ears, and pretends she's elsewhere.
And of course, for anyone in the bus who puts a t into water (as in Wa'er, and waTer) there is the job of completely pretending that absolutely nothing is happening.

(Even though old deaf ladies from the houses thirty metres from the bus are leaning out of their windows and screaming "Turn it down!")

You can just tell I'm going to be on the bus this evening can't you?

Talking of actually being on the bus, poor me is going to Self Defence.

On Thurdsay is the grading, and I'm just going to stand behind my older brother, and hopefully not get noticed.

Oh, yeah! Which brings me to mention that we won 'family of the Year' for our class. The plate is sitting in our "Sabbath Room" with our names proudly displayed on it.

I caught Jeremy giving me this very strange look, that quite plainly said - "How comes your name is on it too when you haven't even tried"

What? I turned up, didn't I? And provided the amusement, right?

I learned early in life, you don't ever argue with someone who BELIEVES they are right, so I'll just leave it there.

Well, you know what? It's time I started getting a move on. I've still got to resurrect Mum's old camera and start using it more often, or I could just start using my phone?

Cya

Constxxx