Nightmare?? No, that was reality.

Why?

Why does it always happen to me?

Why can't it happen to Angelina Jolie? (and no, just because I mentioned her does not mean for a second that I admire her, or aspire to be like her, or even have taken much interest in her. But I have heard her name. . .)

Alnd I'm aware that she is somebody famous who would never do what I just did)

Am I clear?


Good, let's move on.

I take some of the younger siblings swimming once a week.

Well, yesterday was no different.

Er, well, except the part that I was wearing high heels.

Again.

Yes, I know, I know. But my ballet pumps are completely worn out, and my other three hundred pairs of shoes are unsuitable.

Anyway, this interesting (note sarcasm, note sarcasm) problem wasn't any problem at all. Until. The Zebra Crossing. (Americans - check Google for translation).


Now, to go out with a few younger children, quite apart from a remarkably good nature, a brave feeling and good storytelling abilites (for the bus of course), you need to hold tightly onto the two youngest, to ensure that they are not inclined to go running in any direction of a white van, or after a dog.

And to hold JTJ's hand proves to be quite difficult at times, so I hold onto him tightly. Ensuring that he stays close to me.


This works perfectly, you understand, until he steps on my shoe. My foot moves. My shoe stays still.


I'm shoeless. In the middle of the road. With my siblings surrounding me.


And on both sides of the crossing, drivers are impatient to get home to their shepherd's pie, or cheese on toast or whatever. . .

So, I turned around, practically hopping, and went after my shoe. Just as I was about to slide it back onto my foot, J trips, and sends it flying over the zebra part and onto the road. So, as some of us cross to the other side, I hold tight on to J and make my way toward this shoe.

(Please bear in mind both drivers were drumming on their steering wheels with impatience, and shopkeepers were sticking their heads out of shops to see what was causing the commotion on the road. Shoppers were stopping, looking and staring. The ladies in the nail salon painted all the way on to their customers' arms while keeping an eye on me dancing across the road)

And I remained steady, stable and in good character.

Retrieving my prodigal shoe, I strode to the end of the crossing, mouthing "sorry" with an apolgetic grin to each of the drivers.
Then, as soon as I was on my way down our road, I started to laugh.
Well, what else could you do?? It was that or cry.
I've been working on this reputation for years; you know, the cool, calm collected, (funny, witty, clever :0) - somewhat based off Elizabeth Bennet demeanour.
Demeaning is exactly what it was.
Let's move on.......
*Wail* it was so embarrasing!!

Out ---

Hello again.

My recent trips all over the place have yielded many interesting results. I can now add the picture of an old man blow drying his feet to my reportoire.
(Whatever that is)

The old man in question was immediately suspicious upon seeing me; suspicious that I might knock him down.

You understand, he was in somewhat of a precarious situation, having to balance against the wall to blow dry his feet.

I emphasize feet rather than foot.

After considering him for a few moments, I came to the conclusion that I might as well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb -or whatever that saying is - and knocked him down with a frying pan anyway.

No, no, I didn't really - there is no need to email my parents this time.

I'm sure you've guessed that I didn't see this old man drying his feet in a telephone box, on the bus, or even in the library - it was the swimming pool.

I felt the need to clarify that.

I really need to get a camera, there are moments that are just asking to be captured on film for posterity.

Not that I'd show them to you. That just makes me run the risk of being sued. I don't think they'd really have a chance of much money, suing me, by the way, but it is far better to be safe than sorry.

And now I have to run. Not really run, but get a move on.

I've got an orthodontist appointment to go to later, and a lot to get in before then.Yes, I know, the reason I jumped up into the air and yelled when I got my braces off was I because thought I'd never have to see an orthodontist again.

Now, nearly two years later, I'm going back to one.

I'll stop talking.

xx

It's late - I know

I'm sorry.

I've been busy.

Very busy indeed.
Righto, apologies over (I never did like those things much) - let's get down to business.First of all

- Happy New Year to all of you who haven't already received this sentiment from me, and many happy returns.

I hope 2009 is a good year for you, etc, etc, (you know the drill)

I haven't been up to much, just getting back to self defence, getting back to gymnastics, swimming, working, all the things you do at the beginning of the year.

I haven't had any time to do anything on the computer anymore - because I've been trying to beat my siblings' stats in a computer game.

I know, I know, how sad is all that??

But you know, it has paid off. Somewhere I'm sure I'm cleverer for it.
But no, that isn't all I've been doing since I wrote here last. I've been working steadily at the piano, and now have everyone in the family gazing at me in awe and saying:

"Dad! Constance is a genius"

And one person, who had been told that Einaudi (a composer/pianist) was a genius said grumpily when I finished one of his pieces:

"It must be writing the music that's hard"

Well, actually, yes it is.

Let's move on.

I've also been working hard at my self-defence and listening to everything the teacher says, and practising almost every second of the day.

I know, doesn't sound like me does it?

Of course, the small part where I made it up, might have something to do with that.

I've run away from that old guy four or five times since you heard from me, been followed round a shop on suspicion of shop-lifting, been to the dentist, watched fascinated as an old man blew dry his FEET, broken my back trying to lift a girl that was too heavy at gymnastics (almost), had a cold, worked hard and learnt about eutrophic lakes, (Something that once I've passed the exam I'll never think about again. Something I will never need to know unless I want to be a pond engineer. Which I don't) - we had the heating installed, picked up leaves and all the rest.

Of course, that is just looking at the 'good' things I've done.

I've also put my feet up, drunk loads of tea, read a hundred books, played hide and seek, told endless stories about when I was little, 'not' tidied my bedroom, failed to get out of bed on time some mornings, and eaten far too much chocolate.

It balances doesn't it?

And now, I have 53 equations to balance in my chemistry book.

If you'll excuse me...

TTFN

Constxx