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Thursday 6 May 2010

Birthdays, Aunts, Siblings - Life`

I'm now counting down those desperate hours. It reminds me of the time when I was a child and I anxiously awaited the arrival of dawn, and the sports' day.

Funny how with a night like that I hardly ever won anything.

To clarify, I should point out that it's my 17th Birthday tomorrow! I suddenly feel so old. Not that there is any difference really, from today to tomorrow, I may change my exact age, but I
am not getting any older than I did as Wednesday turned to Thursday.

But man, do I actually feel older. 16 sounds cute. 17 sounds likes 70. That is not a good thought.
Botox, here I come!!

It could be worse. I know someone who mentioned in passing that they like to mournfully look at the glasses when they clear the table (it's a family of four...) and take one away before saying to themselves (no doubt in haunting tones) "That's all I've got left"

Being nearly twenty five, the person is question seems to be rather hopeful as to their age at death.

I went to see my Aunt Marie again today. I have a cold! Yep, a cold. No big deal. Or is it?? Aunt Marie (Great Aunt Marie) believes that if you have a cold you have eaten too much.

You can now laugh.

Every time I coughed, I got a remark on my weight and the sighed hope that I would skip my next meal to make up for my recent overeating. In vain I attempted (27 times) to explain that colds are caused by the passing on of germs from one tragic person to another unlucky one.

She lives at the top of a block of flats (no 109) and since the time when a woman took a little while to climb all those stairs, and Aunt Marie told me in a whisper that the woman must be fat (she was) I have felt such a stupid urge to run up those stairs as fast as possible.

Anyways, today guess what? I finally reached a sensible conclusion. It was always painful and rather silly clattering up those stairs in my heels (or whatever I was wearing at the time) so I removed my outer footwear and ran up the stairs so easily I felt like I'd won the marathon.

I hope none of her neighbours come out of their flats while I'm running, my shoes swinging off my hand.

A sibling told me the other day (this poor exploited child shall remain unnamed) that they were in the top eight men of all times. Sun Tzu was there, Moses, Samson, Solomon was stuck in that
list somewhere.

When he meets the real world he's going to need some help. He's just....far too humble for his own good!! He needs to learn some self-confidence. That is what it's all about these days, and he would do well to have a better view of himeslf.

Not to worry, I helped him already. Although I had to knock him a little when I assured him he was wrong - there are only two truly great people in the world. Margaret Thatcher and myself.

(Before you email my mother, I'm not that self-centred, but it was worth the look of shock on his face)

Anyway - what a year! Highlight = HRC Youth Camp!!!
Lowlight = There's too many to count. Maybe the time I lost my shoe in the middle of a Zebra Crossing. In front of the whole town.

To quote a genius "What do we live for but to make sport for our neighbours, and laugh at them in turn!"

Me, I prefer the quote "Silence!!!! I kill you!"

Better suited to stem the forthcoming giggles from all the shopkeepers, shoppers and random passerbys.
Byexx

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